一星期素顏：化妝＝自信？

如果你有讀過我的新書《素系風格》，你也大慨會知道我的化妝步驟非常簡單：畫好眉毛，搽上唇膏和遮掉一些臉上的小瑕疵，用三件小工具足以應付日常妝容。一些「要見人」的時候，例如工作開會，為社交媒體拍照，或約會等等，總是喜歡讓自己看上去有好氣息（和遮掉不完美的地方）而化一點妝。

上星期，因為要去掉臉上的扁平疣（一種傳染性的過濾性病毒），我做了一個小療程，而為了傷口結疤復原得更快，我必須保持臉部清潔，不化妝一星期。老實說，在療程剛剛結束的時候就，望上百多個小小的傷口滿佈臉上（就像多了幾倍的雀斑一樣），又輕輕紅腫，我也有點不知所措。

If you’ve read my book <<LifeStyle In White>>, you may know I like to keep my make-up routine pretty simple - just eye brow, lips colour with a little bit of concealer. Time to time, I used to do these steps when “I have to see someone”, such as work meeting, shooting for my social media or dating (I tend to wear as less make up as possible). Hiding my imperfections from others has been my practice for years.

Last week, because I had a wart removal treatment (warts is a contagious skin virus, usually on face/ neck area.), I have to keep my face clean for a week in order to heal. To be honest, I was a bit overwhelmed right after the treatment, there are over 100 small wound on my face (just like getting much more freckles all over my face.).

Day 1

由於療程後會引起輕微紅腫和刺痛，在治療後我就立即回家休息。雖然那並非不能忍受的痛楚，但為了避免傷口感染，待在家裡還是最好的選擇。

Because of the redness and the pain caused by the removal treatment, I went back home immediately after the treatment. It wasn’t a pain that someone could not stand with it - but in order to stay away from infection (since wounds are still new), staying home is the best idea.

Day 2

發紅已經減少一半，但傷口仍然在癒合的狀態。早上起床後，我戴著大墨鏡去超市買東西（至少大墨鏡可以覆蓋到七成的傷口），人們不會太專注於我的瑕疵。換句話說，大墨鏡其實隱藏了我的瑕疵，也讓我更有安全感。

The redness has lessen 50% but wounds are still healing. I went to do some grocery shopping in the morning with my sunglasses on. At least the big lens covered 70% of my wounds and by doing that people would not focus on my face. In another word, the sunglasses make me feel safer by hiding my imperfections. It is also crucial to protect the face from UV light after the treatment.

Day 3

我嘗試不用洗面霜、保濕霜或其他日常會做的護膚程序—只用水洗臉。幾天過後，傷口開始慢慢癒合並結焦；不過這也是另一個辛苦階段的開始——疤痕變得深色、明顯，也非常痕癢。我要控制不刮傷、讓疤痕自然乾燥，癒合得更快，否則很容易留下疤痕。

I tried to stay away from cleanser, moisturiser or other daily skincare routine - but just washing my face with water and pad it dry. Wounds were starting to heal and turned into scars, and that was the start of another painful stage, scars are very noticeable and my skin were super-itchy. I had to control myself from scratching and let these scars dry naturally so to let it heal better.

Day 4

第四天，是我和男友慶祝三週年紀念日的一天。原本以為流汗也許會引起皮膚發癢，但瑜伽課比我想像的順行，皮膚也沒有不舒服的反應，反而運動了身體感覺更好。晚飯前，我們走到了西環碼頭，想像剛約會時拍一些照片作為記念。然而，沒有化妝，顯得有點兒疲倦的我在鏡頭前非常害羞。我試圖用手、戴著太陽眼鏡遮住臉、甚至嘗試使用一些手機程式來輕輕修容，讓氣息看上去好一點。每隔10分鐘，我就會問一次男朋友：「我在照片上看上去有沒有很難看？」

說真的，我並非對化妝上癮，也響往可以素顏休息的日子；

只是，

我不夠勇敢把我的 #NoMakeUp 照片發到社交媒體。

It was the 3rd year anniversary with my boyfriend and we have a celebration plan. The yoga lesson went better than I imagined, sweating did not caused my skin to be itchy. (Yes, we planned to start work out plan together!) We visited the pier again and wanted to take some pictures for memory (as we took pictures in the same place when we first started dating). Having zero make up on, I was very shy in front of the camera, even I tried to cover my face with hands. I tried to wear my sunglasses too attempting to look better in picture. I even tried to some phone app with filters to “polish” my bare face. And I ask my boyfriend once in every 10 minutes: “Am I looking ugly on photos?”.

I am not confident in my own skin.

I am not brave enough to show my #NoMakeUp look for photo & the social media world.

Some filtered photo took by Iphone.

Day 5

起床後，我發覺疤痕開始變小，皮膚自然的在痊癒起來。我也沒有再像過去幾天那樣一直戴著太陽鏡，我總覺得在室內戴著大墨鏡有點不自然…… 我試著接受素顏的自己，在鏡頭前也比較自在。

我拿著相機，看了昨天拍的那些照片—對，我並不完美，看起來卻很真實。而畫面上，這個不完美的女孩，即使她看起來有點疲倦，沒有遮掉黑眼圈，看起來有點蒼白，卻擁有自然的光芒，眼睛仍然明亮，像小孩子般的光芒。

My skin has became better and the scars are now turning small and less noticeable. Trying to not wearing sunglasses as much as the last few days; trying to accept the way I look, and to be more confident in front of pictures.
I looked back into these photos I took yesterday - yes, I was not perfect, and none of them look like pictures I took/ posted before. They looked real. And the imperfect girl on the picture, somehow has a different feeling. Even she is looking a bit tired without concealing her dark circles, looking pale without putting cheek colours on, she has a natural glow and her eyes are still bright.

「有沒有化妝沒有很大分別啊！」也許這是安慰我的說話，但男朋友一句安心的說話比什麼墨鏡口罩的來得更有安全感。我相信，在他眼中我仍是很美的，也不需要化妝才能讓自己感覺更自信。
這挑戰不化妝的一星期中，讓我有機會重新思考「自信」到底是什麼。化妝，其實是我讓自己感到安全的一種方式；我的外表，也直接影響我的自我認同感。

My boyfriend told me he loved my bare skin and I do not have to put on make up to feel more confident - I am already beautiful in his eyes. And his words and actions worth more than anything, I believed in him!

This little challenge of wearing no makeup actually make me to rethink what confident is. Wearing makeup, hiding imperfections is a way of how I make myself feel safe - and how I look is directly affecting how I feel. My self-esteem is pretty much depends on my self-image, too.

日後，當我想要感覺漂亮、或純粹想為了讓自己更快樂時，我還是會繼續化妝的。但是，我也會提醒自己——愛美，並非為了任何人，而是為了自己而做的。化妝、髮型、服裝可以讓你變得更有自信，卻不會、也不需要讓你變成另一個人。

女生為了自己，也可以愛美。

I will go on wearing makeup when I feel like to be prettier or just to make myself happy. But I will also remind myself of this experience, and take chance to let my skin take breaks. After all, it is a choice of doing what you feel better. What is important, is understanding what make up/ hair-do /clothing meant to you, they enhance your beauty, but not to change you into another person.

“When I wear make up or wear good clothes, I wear them for myself.”

A little bit of make up do not hurt, right? :)

LOVE,