I don't know about you, but some days I wake up with such negative emotions and anxiety that just glue me to my bed for hours of uselessness, until even the stillness in oblivion could not bear me and pushed me away. Lack of confidence, low energy, self-doubt... Negativity has been a haunting nightmare, worse than any imagination of wardrobe malfunction.
I tend to indulge myself in these negative thinking. Some people combat this problem by immersing themselves in entertainment or substances. Perhaps sleeping and solitude was my distraction too, but as everyone knows, nightmares are a force to ignore, they linger somewhere in your room, patiently waiting for the moment you lose down your guard, and strike mercilessly.
So recently I decided to face this problem upfront, and to learn more about these thinkings. I started to ask myself "What do you really want?" "Who do you really want to be?"
我並不是樂觀的人。幾年前曾經輕度抑鬱，兩年前漸漸變好。(也謝謝身邊的男朋友和朋友！1）
可是，誠實的告訴你，有時我仍會讓消極情緒和焦慮影響到。沒自信、自我懷疑... 這些消極、負面的思想其實一直在傷害自己。
有些人會選擇逃避、有些人會沈醉在負面的情緒中。雖然我不是什麼self help專家，我卻想分享幾點、對我非常有效的小建議：包括寫作、創作、和自己對話等等... 問自己「你真正需要什麼？你想成為一個怎樣的人？」好好了解自己，也許是心靈的最好解藥。
Write It Down
Listen to Yourself, Know Yourself.
Sit down, grab a pen and a piece of paper, write down everything that you've been thinking. No matter it is about "what is in my working schedule?" "What should I eat for lunch?" or "How do I feel this morning?"; try to write down everything that is running through your mind. Writing is a process of self-listening; most importantly, you are also observing your mind. Get to know what is in your mind is a crucial factor to knowing what your problems are.
Talk To Yourself
Be Honest, and Precise
When I was younger, I used to think that those people who whisper or talk with themselves are weird. (Boyfriend alert.) Only now I realized it is the best way to communicate with yourself. (He talks to himself even in his sleep.) Our world constantly make it difficult for us to concentrate in our mind. Try to talk to yourself in the morning, ask yourself: What kind of day do you want? What can I do in order to achieve it? In the evening, refresh your mind by listing the things you have achieved, your most enjoyable moments, and say goodbye to negative thoughts; you will begin to feel serenity and it definitely improves your sleeping quality too.
Just simply say "I know you can do better tomorrow!" "Thank you for being yourself." You will be amazed by the power of your thoughts.
Learn To Be Happy Alone
Loneliness is a Blessing
“Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love.” ― Erich Fromm.
Most people underestimate the importance of being alone. I am a person who loves personal space, most of the time I prefer having a cup of coffee and reading alone instead of hanging out with friends. (Yes, I am an introvert.) Meditating, reading, dreaming... It also means you have to refuse to look at your phone for some time. (What is it for anyway?) When you know how to be alone, you stay calm and peace in a quiet environment, you can take care of yourself and so you now know how to take care and love the others, too!
I am not a self-help guru, and I do spend a lot of time and effort to learn how to cope with negativity. I know how hard it is to cope with stress, at the same time I cannot deny - we are the only person who can thoroughly understand ourselves. Try not to focus on the past, and concentrate on here and now - What can I do for a better me?
Be ready to change, your life is yours, live it as you choose!
Photographer : Zuice Flower
Outfits : Ziztar
